I hope you’re doing allright.
I’ve had a very hard time recently. I’ve been obsessing over death and the passing time for months. I’m terribly afraid I will achieve nothing in life and I can’t stop thinking about how it can all end in any moment.
Every day is the same. I hear others talk about things I’ve been unable to pay attention to for ages, and I’m trying to understand.
My hamster died on 31st of March. His name was Krecik (literally: a small hedgehog). He started to have problems with breathing at 11 p.m and I knew there was nothing I could’ve done. I watched him breathe with its mouth for 2 hours, having covered him with his . Its cold, stiff body made me remember that I can’t avoid death.
I don’t want to end up being forgotten. I’m afraid that I could be the person that is buried on the cementary with nothing, but some old, artificial flowers on their funeral.
I’m still trying to live, not to exist. It’s difficult, but I’m still trying,
Stay strong friends and keep talking about mental health. This way my idea will be immortal.